by Nancy Wesson
Reprinted from The Austin Homesteader, 2002
Ever find yourself muttering “Now – where DID I put those keys, screwdriver, car-proof of insurance (sorry officer I know I put it in a safe place …..). It’s like those squirrels! They spend half the summer and fall burying nuts and tidbits in a safe place so they can find them in hard times. If it’s such a safe place, how come they’re frantically diggin’ up your entire yard trying to find the little buggers later. If you’re identifying with the squirrel here, you may have a problem with ……. CLUTTER.
Where Did it Go?
You know those Christmas presents you bought in the summer for 75% off, then went home feeling all smug and efficient, and put them in a place nobody would find them? Well, did you find them? If your answer was “yes”, but not until you were looking for the BBQ equipment next summer, this article may be of some interest. Clutter is the real reason everything important goes on the refrigerator door. It’s the only thing in the house too big to misplace.
OK, you’re right; everyone has these “moments” of forgetfulness. I too have wandered the mall parking lot looking for my car. I have occasionally misplaced my keys, put the screwdriver in the fridge, and milk under the sink. But we’re talking chronic, can’t find it, embarrassed to have people over, late for work, can’t iron your clothes because you can’t find the iron or the top to your favorite suit, would answer the phone if you could find it, etc. kind of chaos.
Managing Your Energy
Whether you are a true “keeper” or organized to the max, the fact is that you have devoted your energy to everything you have in your space and in your life. An item becomes clutter when: you don’t use it, don’t like it, or can’t find it when you need it. Everything in your life either supports you or sucks your energy. Things or relationships that are broken, stacks of things you should have done or events you feel you should attend, items or acquaintances you’re hanging on to out of guilt or other pressures are things that drain your energy. Things that make you feel good to hold or look at are not clutter, even if you rarely use them, because they support your energy. The same goes for social “obligations.”
Everywhere you look these days, there’s some mention of clutter, or how to organize, simplify life. Has life become soooooo complex that we have that we have to get instructions about de-cluttering from magazines? In a word – Yep!
Noise
Why – because we are so continually inundated by noise (another form of clutter) – auditory, visual, olfactory, tactile , social- that we have become a society of responders. It’s the squeaky wheel syndrome and at some point the clutter in our lives screams with such excruciating intensity that we have to pay attention. Computers were supposed to create a “paperless society.” Yeah – right. I don’t know about you, but I don’t completely trust having everything in a black box subject to power surges and viruses. So there are hard copies to file, back-up discs, etc.
We have more things demanding our attention whether or not we invited them in. In order to keep up we have to take an extremely pro-active role in protecting our boundaries. Made a donation lately? Now your name is on the call list for 30 more charities. Subscribed to your favorite magazine?
Now you get a daily stack of junk mail offering you everything from instant “skinny” to new and improved body parts. But don’t you just feel compelled to open this stuff?? Well I used to be, but no more! Mail comes in three categories: personal hand addressed items (keep these – they’re becoming collectors items), correspondence/bills from places we KNOW we have accounts, and all the rest which can be thrown away/shredded without guilt or examination.
Create Your Own Quiet with These Strategies
There are hundreds of books, kits, and related products defining systems to help you organize. I’m not going to try to summarize those here. But after years of working with clients, family, myself, and businesses I know there are a few techniques that work for everyone – no matter what your personal style is.
Find Your Emotional Triggers
The first biggie when you hit the clutter wall can be summarized by the question, ”How do I know what to keep and what to throw.” Nearly everyone gets into a tug-of-war of emotions vs. intellect in going through their “stuff.” Here’s a trick that bypasses that process, with items that don’t have to be kept for tax or legal purposes.
Make a list of 20 people you know – first names only and the first that come to mind, not ust friends. Have someone call the names out and pause after each name. Notice how you feel when you hear the name. Usually, it’s quite definite. You may feel a lightening of your mood, or an instant tightening of the chest or knot in your stomach. Feelings can usually be categorized as positive or negative. The trick is to stay out of the “logical mind” that tells you “of course I like that person, I’ve known them for 20 years.” while that may be true, how do you FEEL about them?
So what in the world does this have to do with clutter? The point of doing the exercise is to help you identify what it feels like in your body when a physical thing has a negative impact on you. Turns out, the same feeling you get from people-associations, occur with objects . With people, it’s easier to identify the feeling – if it’s the first time you’ve done something like this. Once you can identify a “body feel” you can transfer the process to objects .
Some things will be more obvious – like he mask on the left. Maybe it’s from a grand expedition that brings back great memories, but if it reminds you of the great-aunt you dislike, find a way to let it go.
Take Emotional Inventory
Take a stroll through your house and do an emotional-inventory. Stand in front of a piece of furniture and feel what happens. Continue selecting objects until you begin to get some “hits.” You may be surprised. Now move onto smaller objects. Hold one in your hand – Does it feel good or creepy? It won’t take long before you know the instant you look at something or touch it, whether it results in your feeling good or down about it. Use that feeling as your keep-or-toss-indicator. This technique will save you untold hours of agonizing
OK! Equipped with this intuitive tool, you are ready to change the world. Too grand a goal you say? Not really. Each time you change a little portion of your immediate space your approach toward living becomes happier, more positive, more creative and productive. These small steps are life changing and empowering. In effecting change in a portion of your life, you mastermind change all around you. If that’s a little esoteric, you’ll like the next step. You get to gather “tools” and get ready.
Gather Your Weapons/Supplies
Before you start, don’t forget to charge your light saber. In other words, be prepared. What you’ll need:
- You’ll need at least three boxes (labeled KEEP, THROW, and HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW), rubber gloves for avoiding paper cuts and bites of small animals that may be hiding in your piles (just kidding), markers, adhesive notes, snacks and water. You’re going to sort everything in your drawer/closet/ etc. into these three boxes. This is a quick sort – don’t start agonizing! That’s why you have the “don’t know” box.
Start Small
Next, select a s-m-a-l-l project to get started. Instead of attacking the whole craft room at one time, start with one drawer.
Start sorting. Just sort. Do not “pass Go, “ do not collect $200 (it’ll take too long to find it). In fact do not GO anywhere. Many a project has been derailed by taking just this one thing to another room, only to be ambushed by another drawer in need. Just say no …and stay put. That’s also why you have all your materials and food right there. Later, you can take your KEEP box and deliver objects to rooms, saving yourself hours of time.
Imagine the Result
Finally, imagine the project finished – how it will look, feel, smell. Every successful designer, artist, marathon runner I know sees the project at completion before they start. It helps. If you need someone to help give you a “jump-start,” you might trade time with a friend willing to sign a blood-oath to keep you on track and not suggest you go to the movies instead – later, perhaps, as a reward, but not instead of!
The office to he left was total chaos, lacking even a path into the room. The mental vision of it completed, helped us start.
If all of your friends tell you they’d rather go through a tax audit, there is still help. There are actual humans who will come to your home, help you go through your clutter in a non-traumatic way, and assist you in developing an organization system that works for YOU. I’m one of those people and I like it. It’s fun for me. I know it’s perverse, but truly it makes me happy. Clients say “ gee, I didn’t know this would be so much fun and look what we accomplished!” I hear these stories from other professional organizers. Why? Because we are not emotionally attached to your stuff and that’s exactly what makes it so hard for you, the owner, to deal with it.
Hiring a Pro
If you’re going to hire a Professional Organizer, find out how they work, how much input they want from you and establish firm guidelines about criteria for “getting rid of.” Check credentials and references and determine if they have a specialty. I’m a member of an association called National Association of Professional Organizers, and I recommend you make that a requirement of anyone you select. An ethical professional will not get rid of belongings/paperwork etc. without your supervision and thorough guidance regarding what is permissible to throw away. Finally, find someone you like (you’ll be spending a lot of time together). In order for a system to work over the long haul, it must be an intuitive fit for the client. You must also communicate what approaches have worked or NOT worked in the past.
Remember, “The moment one definitely commits oneself, the Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.” (The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, by W.H. Murray)
Happy Clutter Busting!! And stop that muttering!