Resilience

One of the most worrisome aspects of divorce is helping our children thrive as they navigate their new future.  Some comfort might be taken from what a children’s therapist once told me:  “ Kids are amazingly resilient and will take their queue from the parent’s attitude about the divorce. If {the custodial parent} is OK – the kids will be O.K.” 

Intention in Practical Terms

In Feng Shui, our desire to move forward and help our children do the same, would be called intention. In other words, it’s our conscious commitment to creating the life we choose, expressed in our attitude, decisions and actions. In practice, living with intention means living proactively, not reactively. So—although the family dynamic has changed, each parent still has the opportunity to build new memories and history with their children.

(In the Feng Shui Bagua, Children, Creativity and Future share a section, because Children represent our desire to create brought into the future.)

Seize this opportunity to discover what your kids are looking forward to. While you’e at it, ask yourself the same question.   Don’t assume that just because your family has “always done” certain things that you need to stay in lock-step. Use this new information to empower your vision of the future as a family and as individuals.

Fun project: make a vision board of you all would like to do/see as part of life going forward. Then place the finished product in the future-area of either the house or of a room. (The door of entry becomes the front door (symbolically) so the future wall in the middle of the wall to the right upon entering.)

Feeling Secure Tops the List

While having fun is important, establishing healthy routines, maintaining contacts with friends and family members, and keeping a sense of humor all foster a sense of security. I’m not a therapist, but I know that when kids feel secure, they can relax. When that happens, fun can then emerge in the most ordinary activities—it need not be an event.

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