Reprinted from The Austin Homesteader, 2003

Well – we’re coming up on Valentine’s Day and it gives one pause to consider…who d’ya love.  Our programming for this day has us immediately turn to romantic interests and so I’ll concentrate on that – for the most part, but not entirely.  Let’s assume for the moment that you are in the category of coupled or wanting to be.  This is not to say, that everyone has that interest – nor should they.  But, as I said – we’re taking that as a starting point.  So what can Feng Shui do to help you in this respect?  A few things come to mind and they don’t all have to do with Mandarin Ducks.  DUCKS you say?  What’s that got to do with romance and partnering?

What’s Feng Shui Got to Do With It?

Here’s what.  Much of Feng Shui – the art of arranging your environment to support you in all of life’s pursuits – has to do with symbolism. 

The things with which we surround ourselves act as triggers for all manner of things conscious and sub-conscious.  Knowing this, it’s wise to create your environment with care.  If you want to have a supportive, nurturing relationship, you would not – for instance – put pictures of fighting roosters (nor any other critters that are known to be philanderers or animals of prey) in your bedroom.  It just does not conjure the coupling patterns to which most of us aspire.  

Quackery or Symbolism?

If this sounds like Quackery to you, well – that bring us back to ducks.    Mandarin Ducks are traditionally used in Asian culture to represent long-term, monogamous couple relationships – because Mandarin ducks mate for life.   So that’s one place to start:  you can use artwork, sculpture, etc. depicting a pair of creatures that mate for life as a symbol of what you want in your own relationship.  Other animals that mate for life are cranes, sea horses – as opposed to the riding kind – and many other bird varieties – to mention some possibilities.  Frankly, any thing that represents a healthy pairing will work – if it has meaning to you.  Keep in mind that in your choice of symbols you want two adult partners, because it represents balance in the relationship.  Many animal pairs represented in artwork consist of an adult feeding an immature version.   Stay away from that one if you want a relationship of equals.  You might also choose a pair of candles, two roses, a sculpture of an adult couple embracing.  In the reverse, avoid pictures of isolation, hostile environments or too much water.  Water is an element that has no boundaries, and every healthy relationship has good boundaries.  Who wants a wishy-washy partner? 

Other Symbols to Support Relationship

• Flowers (earth energy suggestive of nurturing):  silks are OK, fresh are best if you don’t let them wilt, but stay away from dried (remember – they’re dead)
• Color in shades of yellow, pinks or terra cotta
• Objects made of terra cotta or clay (also earth-energy)
• Heavy objects because they represent grounded ness
• Pictures of you and your sweetie – but not with the family, kids, the football team, etc.

Pictures

By the way,  while we’re on the topic of pictures,  you might consider removing family pictures – those of your children, mom, dad, and  any other pictures that are not of you as a couple from your bedroom.  If this sounds weird to you, think about bringing them energetically into the bedroom with you.  Getting a little crowded?    This is couple time folks, and it’s time to get focused on each other. You can share the entire house with the clan, just not this room.

So now that you’ve chosen something, where might you put it?  In terms of the Feng Shui map or Bagua, visualize the far upper right corner of the house or the room you are in.  That’s the one that relates energetically to Relationships.  The same goes for your desk, if you want to include that  in your model.

So now that you’ve chosen something, where might you put it?  In terms of the Feng Shui map or Bagua, visualize the far upper right corner of the house or the room you are in.  That’s the one that relates energetically to Relationships.  The same goes for your desk, if you want to include that  in your model.

(Find the Relationship area on the Bagua to the left and see how it relates to your home. If you want to organize a desk around this concept, where you sit qualifies as the front door. You might place a foto of you and your love-interest in that position.)

Bedrooms

But let’s get down to some “real life” issues:  people want to know what they can do in  their bedrooms to promote intimacy.  Let’s start with where to put the bed.   A general rule of thumb for the placement of the bed is the one that affords greatest privacy. 

Let’s start with where to put the bed.   A general rule of thumb for the placement of the bed is the one that affords greatest privacy.  This is true whether you’re sleeping with someone or alone.  In fact, it’s the same placement criteria as used for best rest, sleep and rejuvenation.  Ideally, you want to be able to see the door from the bed, but not be lined up with the door (that goes for bathroom doors too).  You’d like the largest possible view of the room.  It’s hard to sleep or get cozy if you’re always wondering who might surprise you walking through the door. 

Feeling Cramped?

Corner placement of the bed was a trendy things a few years back, and it’s used in a lot of wonderful bed and breakfast settings.  Yes, it’s looks cozy  – and it’s great for a bed and breakfast – because you don’t have to live with it every day.  The fact it – this placement becomes awkward for relationships.  Think about two grown adults climbing in and out of bed in the tiny little 15-degree angle that remains on each side of a bed shoved into the corner.  I get cantankerous just thinking about it and I’m a small person.  There’s not really enough room for a bedside table, lamps. phone, accoutrements – not to mention just getting in and out of a queen or king-size bed. 

Psychologically speaking it can result in each of you feeling like you don’t have enough “space” in the relationship. It may take a while to figure that out if you weren’t aware of this – all the while manifesting in all manner of arguments about “you never… I don’t have enough…).  You get the idea. Further, corner beds have voids between the headboard and the walls and this can cause one to feel uncharacteristically vulnerable or unsupported.  None of these emotions is useful in a relationship.

Balance in the Relationship

Now to the matter of bedside tables.  Yes – you both need one, even if you don’t always share the space.  This has to do with each side of the relationship being equally represented, sharing equal importance and being honored. It’s just as important if you’re not in a relationship, but want to be.  They don’t have to be the same or the same size, but they need to be balanced in visual weight using lamps, color or artwork to compensate for differences in actual size or shape. 

Clutter and Computers

Clear out the space under your bed.  In addition to collecting dust and fur balls, everything you have around you has memories or energy attached to it.  Storing your old divorce papers under your bed, un-finished projects? Nah – not a good idea.  It falls in the same category of having other non-bedroomy kinds of things in your bedroom. 

Computer desk?  OUT!  Workout equipment?  OUT!!  The desk to the left is lovely, but it doesn’t belong in your bedroom. Why? Because it’s really hard to unwind, sleep or get romantic when you’re being stared at by something that reminds you of work or something you “should” be doing. 

I once had a perfectly lovely, restful, large bedroom.  Large enough to bring in a computer hutch where I could work in private.  As Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman:  “Big Mistake!  BIG MISTAKE!”  I couldn’t sleep whether it was opened or closed.  I moved it out and again, slept like a baby.  The very fact of it’s being there disturbed my sleep, even when it remained unused.  I hear these stories all the time from clients who have cleared their rooms of such things.    One more tricky thing:  if the instrument of woe is in the relationship corner of your bedroom – it carries a double whammy.  It says to the psyche:  “relationships are WORK.”  And maybe they are, but we needn’t add to the load. 

Re-ignite the Spark

One of the things I hear often from new parents or couples who have been together a long time is that they have misplaced the spark of being  “a couple.” We wear so many hats these days,  sometimes we even forget which one to put on or take off.  If you want to rekindle the couple role, carve out some time or space that is just yours.  The bedroom can become a romantic retreat; the bath – a “spa.”  Warm up you bathroom with a couple of candles, bath salts, soft towels and maybe some music.  Nothing calms the soul and washes away the worries of the day like taking a little time for ourselves.  Maybe you’d like to give or receive one hour of a luxurious soak in a tub of lavender or rose scented hot water, with good music and a candle burning.   We begin to rediscover our humanity and our connected-ness when we came come home to ourselves. 

Flying Solo?

With all the commercialization around Valentine’s Day, one would think that everyone in the world was part of a couple.  And if you are not – well join the parade.  No reason to feel left out.  I’ll tell you a story.  One year on February 13, my then husband moved out of the house.   He chose this date because he liked the symbolism and it added drama. He was hoping to stain my memory of Valentine’s Day forever.

Well, it did emblazon it in my memory, but not for the reasons you might think.   The next day was fairly traumatic, but in years since I have celebrated that day as the beginning of my liberation of self. The next year, he sent me an Un-Valentine card.  By that time I had regained my sense of humor  and realized it was a statement about him, not me.  I had begun to really understand and appreciate the stuff I am made of.  I have celebrated with friends and alone, and each is satisfying.  Instead of ignoring the day or feeling  “left out” I choose to embrace the celebration of love – of self, of being alive, of community, of children and the gifts of wisdom I have received as  part of every relationship, regardless of outcome or status.

All Relationships Begin with Self

Embrace the state of being able to make choices  that reflect the essence of who you have become and the wisdom and self assurance you have gained as a result of  all of the people you  love and have loved.  Don’t let anyone rain on your parade.

Whether you are solo or flying with a partner, remember that all relationships begin with the relationship to self.  You cannot receive from others what you are unwilling to give yourself.  Do you want to be cherished?  Cherish yourself – by calmly setting good boundaries and taking stock of your own talents and gifts.  You and others will see you in a different light.   Reread this article through a different lens, and recognize that each of us has a partnership with SELF.  Do the things that you thought of doing for your external partnership or the one you want to attract, and do it for YOU.  Each of us carries ying and yang, masculine and feminine, dark and light within us.  The very things that nurture romance, nurture the partnership within.  And taking care of that partnership takes care of us and every other relationship.

From my heart to your: Happy Valentine’s day

The post Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime appeared first on Nancy Wesson Consulting.

Reprinted from The Austin Homesteader, 2003

They’re coming! Ready or not! In fact they all seem to be here at once – if you believe what you see in the department stores. Well before Halloween, I was seeing Christmas paraphernalia. There’s something unsettling and off-putting about seeing Santa and Menorahs snuggled in there between the skeletons, cobwebs and spiders.

Starting with Halloween

I’ve heard talk about the fall and winter holidays being combined into one major holiday. Lousy concept, but the constant selling of Hanukah, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas leads one to wonder if it’s not already happening. Will it be called HanukHalThaMas? Sounds like a dinosaur… However we define it, the premature hawking of these and other holidays in an effort to jump start consumer spending also jump-starts the assorted stresses that go with the season and can sap energy.

Holiday Overload

Personally, the anticipation of the holidays is always tinged with the angst of anticipated overload and feeling cluttered on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. There’s the fact of shopping, some of which I want to do and much of which feels like a chore or an obligation to fulfill someone else’s fantasy of what the holidays should be.

Emotional Clutter

Then there’s the emotional clutter: memories of past holidays, expectations (both mine and other’s) and trying to keep up with previously set benchmarks of decorating, buying, cooking, and trying to create the “perfect” Kodak moment, memory-building holiday. The mental clutter of lists, obligations and simply trying to keep up with the normal chores of living add another layer of stress.

What’s to Do?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a scrooge, but I think some of this has gotten out-of-hand. As a culture, we are spending and hurrying more, but enjoying it less. What’s to be done? We have some choices here. Just because the media is on the fast track, doesn’t mean we have to climb on. Just as we can de-clutter closets and offices, so can we get rid of the excess baggage we carry around about holidays. Keep the parts you like – those that have meaning, and support you. Let go of the rest . It’ll help you enjoy the real essence of the holidays, whether it’s Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, whatever.

Re-imagining Your Holiday

Determine what each of these holidays really means to you in terms of family, tradition,  spending, emotional and spiritual impact, and energy investment.  What do you WANT it to be and how you want to integrate it with the rest of your life (i.e. the Nine Life Domains of Career, Wisdom, Family, Prosperity, Reputation, Relationships, Creativity/Children. Benefactors and Health)  Start there while you still have some lead time.  And then…

RESTRUCTURE

A Few Ideas for Restructuring

Here are a few ideas that I know have worked:

Set healthy boundaries. Keep the activities, people and events on your list that are consistent with what you discovered in your soul-searching. Gradually eliminate other tasks or delegate to those who want them. Plenty of “requirements” disappear when the folks who require them have to take responsibility for making them happen. You don’t really have to do everything others expect of you, nor all of the things you expect of yourself. Take stock, prioritize and streamline. And be prepared: not everyone will be happy about your desire to simplify, but it might have the benefit of their examining their own priorities. If you discuss how the simplification process will actually leave you more time and energy to be “present,” that may help. Be patient and “strong of heart.”

Engage others. I know this sounds like you’re running a business – and to some extent – you are. The same things that work to get employees and partners involved can work on the home front. Instead of doing everything to turn out the Better Homes and Gardens holiday, include family members or staff in your game plan. It engenders a sense of ownership and pride in what’s happening. Furthermore, it builds the tools for them to create traditions and comfort for themselves once out of cocoon. Also, remember that if it’s required to be “perfect,” they may resist doing anything because they know it can’t reach those standards. “Perfection “fallout” can continue when they flee the nest if their internalized model of perfection makes it hard to be alone and experiment with creating their new traditions.

Making Space

Get your kids (age 3 through 93) clean out their closets and toys bins (a.k.a. workshops, craft rooms, etc); and give items that are “like new,” gently used to a church or organization like Blue Santa . For kids, this is an exercise in sharing and an opportunity to feel the joy of unattached giving. It has the added value of clearing the way for the new “stuff” that comes during the holidays. Finally, it keeps them productively busy and reduces the “gimme” aspects of the season.

Recharge and Simplify

• Recharge, renew and re-focus often.
• Physical: 3X/week – walk, swim, dance or other aerobic exercise
• Mental: 10 min. break every 2-3 hours. Quite time (a cup of herbal tea, sit down, music, healthy snack for example).
• Emotional: once a day fully engage with your spouse, your kids or yourself. Listen, give from-the-heart feedback, laugh, cry…feel.
• Spiritual: bring your integrity to every moment, follow your inner compass.

Simplify parties. Instead of spending the pre-party week cleaning, cooking and shopping consider the possibility of a pot-luck where you provide one main item. Or – have a gift trade where everyone brings one wrapped “mystery” gift of something they’re ready to re-cycle (e.g. books, CD’s, previous gift items). Everyone gets a number and a chance to choose a gift. Each person following #1 can either choose a mystery gift or take a gift from one of those already received. The person who has to relinquish a gift, gets to repeat the process. This is an easy, low overhead party and more fun than most.

You can apply these same concepts to any endeavor to help create balance, creativity, focus, passion and joie de vivre. And remember: it’s not the destination that counts, it’s the quality of the journey. Enjoy your holidays – whatever and whenever you celebrate.

The post Holidays: They’re Coming Ready or Not appeared first on Nancy Wesson Consulting.

Reprinted from The Austin Homesteader, 2002

The garage. Just the mention of it brings groans, gasps and the rolling of eyes. Even the most fastidious people have been revealed to be closet-messies when it comes to the garage. In private consultations, people have been know to throw their bodies across the door to the garage – “Oh NO – your CAN”T go into the garage!”

Does the Garage Count?

I’ve consulted in many high-dollar, beautifully appointed homes – meticulously neat in the public quarters, but total chaos in the garage. In a few, the garage door couldn’t be closed because it was full from top to bottom and front to back. Several hardware stores could have been stocked with the contents. Things were so well packed-in, there was no hope of finding anything without emptying everything. So, whenever someone needed a tool, they would go buy another.

THNEEDS

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Somehow the garage has become the repository for not only all the seasonal-gear, tools, yard stuff, and hand-me-downs, it also contains trash, recycling, and the unredeemable. Finally, it houses things we no longer need and things NOBODY needs. Dr. Suess said it best. He called them THNEEDS (things nobody needs).

It’s not the garage that’s the problem. In fact, it’s a very useful part of the house – some people even park their cars there! It’s what happens when we treat it like a land fill. Anywhere there’s clutter, especially broken, dirty and unused items collecting critters – the energy gets stuck and it effects the way life is lived by those who reside in the house.

The garage nearly always appears in one of the corners (Guas) of the house, making it – in Feng Shui terms – a big deal. Let’s pretend that the front door is in the center of the house on the same parallel as the front edge of the structure.

Navigating Around the Corners: the Bagua Again…

• From the center front of the house, navigating in a clockwise direction the first corner we come to in the 7:00 position represents the life aspect known as Knowledge and Spirituality. Clutter in this area slows down the initiation of new projects, interferes with feeling grounded, inhibits personal growth and limits the wisdom we bring to bear in life situations.
• The next corner moving up and around into the roughly 10:00 position represents Prosperity or Manifestation and has to do with our ability to create the kind of life we want for ourselves. Clutter here can interfere with finances, projects coming to fruition financially, and the safekeeping of resources,

Detached Garages

Wait! What’s that racket I hear? It’s dancing in the streets! I think it’s coming from those folks with detached garages. Turn off that music! You’re not exempt – because the garage is still part of the energy of the property. Sorry….To determine where on the property the house falls, use the point where the driveway comes in as the “front door” to the property.

Coming and Going

On the more mundane level, here’s something else to think about. If you’re one of fortunate few who can actually get your car in the garage, you also probably enter and exit your house via the garage. If you do, the garage is the last thing you see in the morning before heading off to work, and the first thing you see returning home. So – if your garage is neat and brightly lit, painted and things are in order – you’re more apt to start your day feeling “together.” If, on the other hand walking into your garage constitutes as act of bravery, then you are probably reminded of all the stuff you need to do and what a mess things are. It permeates the entire day.

Coming home after a long, possibly frustrating day at the office, wanting nothing more than to get home and relax – you drive into the “little shop of horrors.” Your mood plummets, your energy is zapped and any joy you had about coming home is vaporized. Instead of greeting your family with a smile, you offer up a scowl and it sets the mood for your evening at home. When you look at the garage this way, it becomes a very important room.

Jettison the Junk

OK – so we’ve got the landscape of how important it is to get the garage in order, but it’s so overwhelming. Where to start? Here’s an automatic toss list for getting started. In other words, these are things you can get rid of without a second thought and without having to think about recycling – with the exception of some tools that may be rehabilitated via Goodwill.

• Mildewed items
• Rusted nails, screws, etc.
• Broken tools with missing parts
• Old paint that has ever frozen (toxic waste recycling)
• Broken rakes, saws, lawnmowers, whirligigs scooters…
• Flat tires
• Oily rags

Storage

Next, look at storage. By far the quickest way to deal with storage in the garage is to use vertical shelving or racks. Most garages I enter have piles that go up to about four feet, because that’s about as tall as you can stack before things begin to fall, slope or slowly tumble into small pyramids. This is not what is meant by “pyramid power.” Consider these options:

• Vertical storage: Any home improvement store will have their version of sturdy, industrial strength vinyl or plastic shelving. The ones I’m talking about are 18”to 24” deep and 36” wide with shelves placed at least 12” apart. You can stack boxes, store large tools, fake Christmas trees, saddles, or a rack of antlers on the shelves – safely. They’re easy to assemble in multiple configurations, solid, and inexpensive. I’ve seen many a garage transformed quickly merely by using these shelves.

• Pegboard or a section of rod with hooks, to hang yard tools, mops, hoses, extension cords simplifies putting away tools and it keeps the rake from falling on your head while you trying to get to the weed trimmer. Be sure to use a spacer to attach it to the wall so the hooks have space to attach.
• Vertical bike racks for larger bikes or small metal parking slats for kids can hold multiple bikes. These save space and the frustration of moving a bike before you can get into the garage, not to mention the tangle that ensues when they all fall down in a mass of spokes and handlebars.
• A small table or shelf unit next to the door entering the house serves as a parking place for an errand box, removes clutter from the house, and can make for a smoother morning exit. A lamp on top the unit can also make the difference in your mood when entering the garage.

Paint what?

Garage maintenance is never at the top of anyone’s list. That why it’s important to make it easy to do. While I’ve had people giggle and gasp at the next suggestion, it’s actually a feature in new upper-end construction.

Painting the floor with one of the new epoxy paints that come in spatter colors makes cleaning up oil spills of paint a breeze. It also looks great and actually makes you want to keep the garage clean. Painting the garage interior with a semi-gloss or high gloss is actually high on my personal list because it makes it lighter, smells are not absorbed as easily into painted surfaces and finally, it’s easier to clean.

Just for Fun

Finally, for an extra pick-me-up when you drive into the garage, put a fun poster right in front of your car or on the garage side of the door entering into the house. You’d be surprised how nice it is to come home to a cheery image.

The bottom line on garages is this: if your mood drops when you walk into your garage, it a signal that it’s not working for you in other areas f your life. This is a great time of year for this; it’s cooler, bugs have slowed down, and it’s about time to find those holiday decorations. Kids are forever wanting money and are therefore usually eager to help if you let them keep any funds they earn from the re-sale or garage sale of old toys. EVERYONE enjoys and gets better use of the garage when it’s organized and clean.

So enjoy your new project. If you start it now, you’ll actually be able to find those Christmas or Hanukah decorations, clean out the “white elephant” presents you received last year and make room for more! Now that’s a cheery thought…

The post The Garage appeared first on Nancy Wesson Consulting.

Reprinted from The Austin Homesteader,  2002

Ever find yourself muttering “Now – where DID I put those keys, screwdriver, car-proof of insurance (sorry officer I know I put it in a safe place …..).  It’s like those squirrels!  They spend half the summer and fall burying nuts and tidbits in a safe place so they can find them in hard times.  If it’s such a safe place, how come they’re frantically diggin’ up your entire yard trying to find the little buggers later.  If you’re identifying with the squirrel here, you may have a problem with ……. CLUTTER. 

Where Did it Go?

You know those Christmas presents you bought in the summer for 75% off, then went home feeling all smug and efficient, and put them in a place nobody would find them?  Well, did you find them?   If your answer was “yes”, but not until you were looking for the BBQ equipment next summer, this article may be of some interest.  Clutter is the real reason everything important goes on the refrigerator door.  It’s the only thing in the house too big to misplace. 

OK, you’re right; everyone has these “moments” of forgetfulness.  I too have wandered the mall parking lot looking for my car.  I have occasionally misplaced my keys, put the screwdriver in the fridge, and  milk under the sink.  But we’re talking chronic, can’t find it, embarrassed to have people over, late for work, can’t iron your clothes because you can’t find the iron or the top to your favorite suit, would answer the phone if you could find it, etc. kind of chaos.

Managing Your Energy

Whether you are a true “keeper” or organized to the max, the fact is that you have devoted your energy to everything you have in your space and in your life.  An item becomes clutter when: you don’t use it, don’t like it, or can’t find it when you need it.  Everything in your life either supports you or sucks your energy.  Things or relationships that are broken, stacks of things you should have done or events you feel you should attend, items or acquaintances you’re hanging on to out of guilt or other pressures are things that drain your energy.  Things that make you feel good to hold or look at are not clutter, even if you rarely use them, because they support your energy.  The same goes for social “obligations.”

Everywhere you look these days, there’s some mention of clutter, or how to organize, simplify life.  Has life become soooooo complex that we have that we have to get instructions about de-cluttering from magazines?   In a word – Yep! 

Noise

Why – because we are so continually inundated by noise (another form of clutter) – auditory, visual, olfactory, tactile , social- that we have become a society of responders.  It’s the squeaky wheel syndrome and at some point the clutter in our lives screams with such excruciating intensity that we have to pay attention.    Computers were supposed to create a “paperless society.”   Yeah – right.   I don’t know about you, but I don’t completely trust having everything in a black box subject to power surges and viruses.  So there are hard copies to file, back-up discs, etc.  

We have more things demanding our attention whether or not we invited them in.  In order to keep up we have to take an extremely pro-active role in protecting our boundaries.  Made a donation lately? Now your name is on the call list for 30 more charities.  Subscribed to your favorite magazine? 

Now you get a daily stack of junk mail offering you everything from instant “skinny” to new and improved body parts. But don’t you just feel compelled to open this stuff??  Well I used to be, but no more! Mail comes in three categories:  personal hand addressed items (keep these – they’re becoming collectors items), correspondence/bills from places we KNOW we have accounts, and all the rest which can be thrown away/shredded without guilt or examination.

Create Your Own Quiet with These Strategies

There are hundreds of books, kits, and related products defining systems to help you organize.  I’m not going to try to summarize those here.  But after years of working with clients, family, myself, and businesses I know there are a few techniques that work for everyone – no matter what your personal style is.

Find Your Emotional Triggers

The first biggie when you hit the clutter wall can be summarized by the question, ”How do I know what to keep and what to throw.”   Nearly everyone gets into a tug-of-war of emotions vs. intellect in going through their “stuff.”   Here’s a trick that bypasses that process, with items that don’t have to be kept for tax or legal purposes. 

Make a list of 20 people you know – first names only and the first that come to mind, not ust friends.  Have someone call the names out and pause after each name. Notice how you feel when you hear the name.  Usually, it’s quite definite.  You may feel a lightening of your mood, or an instant tightening of the chest or knot in your stomach.  Feelings can usually be categorized as positive or negative.  The trick is to stay out of the “logical mind” that tells you “of course I like that person, I’ve known them for 20 years.” while that may be true, how do you FEEL about them?

So what in the world does this have to do with clutter?  The point of doing the exercise  is to help you identify what it feels like in your body when a physical thing has a negative impact on you.  Turns out, the same feeling you get from people-associations, occur with objects .  With people, it’s easier to identify the feeling – if it’s the first time you’ve done something like this.  Once you can identify a “body feel”  you can transfer the process to objects . 

Some things will be more obvious – like he mask on the left. Maybe it’s from a grand expedition that brings back great memories, but if it reminds you of the great-aunt you dislike, find a way to let it go.

Take Emotional Inventory

Take a stroll through your house and do an emotional-inventory. Stand in front of a piece of furniture and feel what happens.  Continue selecting objects until you begin to get some “hits.” You may be surprised.  Now move onto smaller objects. Hold one in your hand – Does it feel good or creepy?  It won’t take long before you know the instant you look at something or touch it, whether it results in your feeling good or down about it.  Use that feeling as your keep-or-toss-indicator.  This technique will save you untold hours of agonizing

OK!  Equipped with this intuitive tool, you are ready to change the world.  Too grand a goal you say?  Not really.  Each time you change a little portion of your immediate space your approach toward living becomes happier, more positive, more creative and productive.   These small steps are life changing and empowering. In effecting change in a portion of your life, you mastermind change all around you.  If that’s a little esoteric,  you’ll like the next step.  You get to gather “tools” and get ready. 

Gather Your Weapons/Supplies

Before you start, don’t forget to charge your light saber.  In other words, be prepared.  What you’ll need:

• You’ll need at least three boxes (labeled KEEP, THROW, and HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW), rubber gloves for avoiding paper cuts and bites of small animals that may be hiding in your piles (just kidding), markers, adhesive notes, snacks and water.  You’re going to sort everything in your drawer/closet/ etc. into these three boxes.  This is a quick sort – don’t start agonizing!  That’s why you have the “don’t know” box. 

Start Small

Next, select a s-m-a-l-l project to get started.  Instead of attacking the whole craft room at one time, start with one drawer.

Start sorting.  Just sort.  Do not “pass Go, “  do not collect $200 (it’ll take too long to find it). In fact do not GO anywhere.  Many a project has been derailed by taking just this one thing to another room, only to be ambushed by another drawer in need. Just say no …and stay put.  That’s also why you have all your materials and food right there. Later, you can take your KEEP box and deliver objects to rooms, saving yourself hours of time.

Imagine the Result

Finally, imagine the project finished – how it will   look, feel, smell.  Every successful designer, artist, marathon runner I know sees the project at completion before they start.  It helps. If you need someone to help give you a “jump-start,” you might trade time with a friend willing to sign a blood-oath to keep you on track and not suggest you go to the movies instead – later, perhaps, as a reward, but not instead of!

The office to he left was total chaos, lacking even a path into the room. The mental vision of it completed, helped us start.

If all of your friends tell you they’d rather go through a tax audit, there is still help.  There are actual humans who will come to your home,  help you go through your clutter in a non-traumatic way, and assist you in developing an organization system that works for YOU.  I’m one of those people and I like it.  It’s fun for me.  I know it’s perverse, but truly it makes me happy.  Clients say “ gee, I didn’t know this would be so much fun and look what we accomplished!”  I hear these stories from other professional organizers.  Why?  Because we are not emotionally attached to your stuff and that’s exactly what makes it so hard for you, the owner, to deal with it.

Hiring a Pro

If you’re going to hire a Professional Organizer, find out how they work, how much input they want from you and establish firm guidelines about criteria for “getting rid of.”  Check credentials and references and determine if they have a specialty.  I’m a member of an association called National Association of Professional Organizers, and I recommend you make that a requirement of anyone you select.    An ethical professional will not get rid of belongings/paperwork etc. without your supervision and thorough guidance regarding what is permissible to throw away.  Finally, find someone you like (you’ll be spending a lot of time together).  In order for a system to work over the long haul, it must be an intuitive fit for the client.  You must also communicate what approaches have worked or NOT worked in the past.

Remember, “The moment one definitely commits oneself, the Providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”  (The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, by W.H. Murray)

Happy Clutter Busting!!      And stop that muttering!

The post What’s All This Muttering About Cluttering? appeared first on Nancy Wesson Consulting.