Ah how quickly one’s mood can shift….  It’s one of the major challenges over here – not to let the outside world mess with inner-sanctum.  True, it is a challenge everywhere – but the more control or illusion of control – one has over events, the less volatile one feels.  Or perhaps I shouldn’t generalize.  Certainly, it’s true for me – and I have to return to the admonition to breathe, set intentions – not for a specific outcome – just for well-being, highest good. Those who have known me for years, taken courses from me, and know my philosophy can recognize this as – shall we say – an opportunity for “growth, “practicing what I preach…” etc.  In other words “getting a dose of my own medicine.”  So – I am owning it.  Remember, I’ve never claimed  it is easy…  And – as the popular expression goes here TIA (“This Is Africa.”)

It’s the etcetera that’s giving me problems.  Actually, in the over all scheme of things, in the now, I am safe, sheltered, fed, healthy, family in good shape,  sons doing well, good friends.  So all is – IN REALITY – just fine.  It’s the details…  and those have their own life here and I had damned well better get with the program, which is to try to ignore the details.  Expectations are the death knell of serenity.  So vast is the opportunity for miscalculation, disappointment, failed communications – that being in the present, the now – really is the best coping strategy.   Be with what is….  “Is it OK  “Tye kakare?”  Yes – it’s the trying to plan for the future, fix the unfixable where I’m running into trouble.  So, I’m doing this blog, taking inventory of life in this moment.

So – what “IS”  today: the sun is shining, there is a cool breeze coming in through the window where I sit, staff here is drifting in, there is power, my computer works, I HAVE a house to move into,   Brett has an exciting new position as the Director of Ski Patrol at Timberline Resort on Mt. Hood, Travis is back in the States for an indeterminate amount of time, but is home from Iraq and he is awaiting his next “adventure?”  It’s been said about parenting that “you’re only as happy as you least happy child.”  As co-dependent as this sounds, I have found it to be true, that at least as mothers, we are happiest when our kids are on their path and doing well.  So it is a source of some comfort that all is well at home.

Things over which I have no control: the man will or won’t come to put in mosquito screens, there may or may not be electricity at the house even this week, the lease will or won’t get signed today and there’s nuthin’ I can do to exert influence over any of it.    There is a Chinese Proverb I read at least four decades ago in a book by the same name (Barry Stevens, author):  Don’t Push the River  (It Flows by Itself). So, I may not be able to push it, but there does seem to be some opportunity to direct the flow.  I’ll let you know how that works.  Right now, it feels like herding cats – and we all know how well that works.

The powers that be have arrived – and there is great consternation over  the truck, the fact that I am still in a hotel…  that consultants are arriving this week to do base line testing and – the “vehicle is not on the road.”  In short – it is Monday.

There you have it..   TIA

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