Need Space in Your Relationship?

by Nancy Wesson

Re-claimed and updated from Divorce 360, March 2008

A few months ago I started feeling like I needed more “space” in my marriage.  I’ve never really felt crowded before, and my wife and I are fighting so much about this we’re starting to talk about separating.    The other day we realized a lot of this started when we moved the bed and angled it to the corner.  I don’t see how this can matter, but I’m a renaissance kind-a-guy so I’m asking : “Does this have something to do with Feng Shui?

Well, yes and—and as is the case with many things in this science of how energy impacts life—it will seem obvious when you hear the explanation.  I’m not saying it’s ALL about Feng Shui, but I’ve seen this happen before!

Maybe it’s the Bed

The first thing that happens with a corner-angled bed is that each partner loses some operating room. Instead of having a sufficient space to maneuver in, each person is constrained to 45 degrees and bumping into walls.

All of a sudden one or both of you start to feel crowded.  Since you feel it when you go to bed and get up in the morning, each of which are times that you are in close proximity to your partner, the logical mind says, “This must be about him/her!”  

In actuality, it might be because you are literally cramped into a smaller space, but the feelings are so subliminal it never occurs to anyone that the problem is PHYSICAL space and NOT EMOTIONAL space!

Check it out.  Move the bed to the most private position in the room, giving each of you a bedside table, lamp and plenty of elbowroom.  See what shifts, but also use this opportunity to explore ways in which each of you might need more autonomy.  

The best bed placements noted in the diagram t the left are positions 1 and 2. Absolute worst are 4 and 5. Position three can be made to work if you hang a mirror that allows you to see the door from the bed, but NOT reflect the bed, which causes sleep issues.