Frequently Asked Questions

and a few client stories

 

 Question:  “What does a Feng Shui Consultation “look like” and how can it change my life?”    

Scenario 1 

The Client

“Clarice,” a 50-something , attractive, well-educated single woman  was an executive coach with a home-office in an established neighborhood.  Based on her Nine-Life-Domains inventory, she was looking for a relationship,  greater connection with her new neighborhood,  and a space that would allow her (predominantly male) clients to feel more comfortable and open-up about their challenges. She was a meditator, yoga-practitioner and seriously wanted change in her life.

The House

The house presented well,  door facing the street, no sidewalk connecting it to the street, or landscaping of any kind.  The interior was meticulously kept, decorated in shades of white with silks, brocades, beaded pillows, dozens of gold and silver cherubs, no plants or lamps (except in the bedroom) and all furniture squared with the wall.    The bedroom had floor to ceiling silk curtains, a white beaded bedspread with heavily beaded throw pillows – and  cherubs. Lots of cherubs.

The Process

As I offered some ideas, she  sucked in breath and let me know we would “not be rearranging. ”  Every suggestion was met with “no.”   It was early in my career, and I was a little flummoxed.  A mutual friend and former client had recommended my services to her and warned me “this one might be tricky.” 

As much as she wanted change, she was absolutely rigid about making changes in her surroundings.  What to do…

I offered a deal:  “How about you give me ten-minutes, to make some adjustments and move things around.  Take some deep breaths and I promise, if you don’t like it, I’ll put everything back exactly as it is now.  That, she could manage.

I worked feverishly – angling the couch to create an “open arms” feeling when walking, moved an end table and the throw rug. 

When I looked up – to my horror, she was crying.   I was the one who needed to take a deep breath next.  I asked her about the tears.

Her Response: Finding HOME

Her reply: “I’ve been searching for “home” ever since I moved in – and what you just did…   it finally happened. THIS feels like home.

The changes that day were simple, but profound. From that point on, she gave me cart-blanche for other changes.

In addition to the physical changes in arrangement, we jettisoned at least half the cherubs, and I recommended:

  • colors and textures what would complete the five-element cycle of flow.
  • plants
  • lighting
  • a stepping stone path from her front door to the sidewalk.

She asked if I would help her shop, because,  she said: “I don’t DO COLOR!”  She had a fantastic time playing with possibilities as we shopped and totall changed the feel of her home.

The Results

In addition to finally feeling “at home” and more “at peace” in her own home, the following specifically related to aspirations occurred: 

  1. The week after putting in her stepping-stone path, neighbors noticed her and for the first time invited her to a neighborhood function, even though there had been several since she’d lived there – and she’d never been invited.
  2. Her consulting business became more profitable, because her clients felt more relaxed and open during their sessions.
  3. The relationship wasn’t immediate, but it did evolve and in general that aspect of her life felt more open and inviting.
  4. The balancing of her physical space, helped her find balance in her wellbeing and her approach to life, creating a softer, more approachable aspect. She became more flexible emotionally and continued to use to concepts offered in the consultation to move forward

Question: “Why is symbolism so important in Feng Shui? 

Scenario 2

The Client

 “Erica,” well-to-do,  60-ish professional woman, author and speaker, lived in an upscale neighborhood in and expressed a concerns: 

  • “My life is an emotional desert.”
  • “Relationships are just so much work – and they never go nowhere.”
  • It feels like “something heavy is hanging over my head and I don’t know what it is.”

Observations

The brick house was in an upscale neighborhood, the floor plan essentially a rectangle.  Furnished in predominately earth colors, there was nothing in the footprint that would relate to the concerns she expressed.
 
The most salient feature upon entering into the large, open plan family area (in the health sector of the home)  was an oil-painting of a desolate, parched desert landscape

The bedroom (n the relationship corner of the home), was:

  • dominated by a king-size bed at a right-angle to the door, extending to in front of the door;
  • double-wide treadmill consumed the far-right corner of the room  (the relationship corner of that room).
  • a patio-type door exiting the room (also in the relationship corner of the room). 
 

Symbolism 

Everything in this consult pointed to the symbolism in the artwork, furnishings and placement of features/items in the house. starting with the oil-painting.

Keeping in mind her statement about “emotional desert,” the oil-painting of “desolation”was the first thing seen every day when walking into the house and into main living space of the house. This constant subliminal reminder of the barrenness of life, had become the way she felt about life.  Carl Jung might  have called this constant reminder , a psychological feedback loop. 

The bed, itself, was part of the cause of the feeling of fatigue associated with relationships. Sleeping in front of a door is problematic in that it increases a sense of vulnerability, and the body and spirit are impacted by the energy moving through the door across the body. 

Psychologically, the right brain is always scanning for threat at night and the door represents potential threat (even if you consciously feel safe in the space). 

Most interesting was treadmill, (remember the placement): regarding her statement:  “relationships are work and don’t go anywhere.”  No matter how hard we work on a treadmill, it never takes us anywhere!

Finally, the exit door, is symbolic of a quick exit out of any relationship. 

The Feeling of Heaviness

Finally, the issue about the heaviness in the house, led to an exhaustive exploration of the possibilities to explain sense of foreboding – i.e stored documents about divorce, financial ruin, etc. Nothing seemed evident and there was o sense of “other” presence in the space. 

When I asked her where else she had storage, she mentioned the attic, in an off-hand way.  

“t’s just old manuscripts and research for a book I wrote.” After more questions, it came out that the book covered the background and murder trial of a celebrity, for a grizzly murder that  had galvanized the country for over a year. All of that energy was hanging out in the attic and permeating the feel of the house!

Basic Recommendations

1. Find another place for the desert painting and replace itwith something more symbolic of balance, and health.

2. Move the bed to a spot with greater privacy, where she could see the door, but not be in lie with it.  

3. Get the treadmill out of the bedroom along with anything else that suggests “work.”

4. Drape of otherwise reduce the prominence of the door out of the bedroom – to reduce prominence  the idea of a quick exit.

5. Remove the research documents from the attic and place them in off-site storage.

6. After accomplishing these changes, shift the language around “desolation” and relationship. Words have their own energy and power in directing outcome.

Usually, during the consultation, we are able to rearrange furniture to achieve optimize results, but these moving the bed and treadmill would require Herculean effort. That said, after hundreds of consults, I know these adjustment would have a profound impact on her life. 

Shift was already set in motion by her commitment and the space clearing/blessing done t the end of every consult. .

 

Question: What’s involved in a Organizing/DeCluttering consultation?

 

My goal in working with a client who needs help with clutter, whether it’s physical, mental or social clutter, is three-fold:

  1. Help you determine your goals for the process – what they would like to see “changed” as a result of our work together.  
  2.  Evaluate and help you do the physical work of decluttering/organizing i.e.sorting, decision making, putting things in place, etc.
  3.  Introduce techniques and skills to make managing clutter and  maintain organization easier going forward.
Contrary to some of the  Hollywood shows about decluttering, my job is not to make decisions FOR you and get rid of your stuff.  We will make decisions together, work together, and reconfigure together.  You must be PRESENT, both physically and mentally for the session(s).

Do’s and Don’ts

With the above in mind, here are a few do’s and don’t’s for a physical declutter/organization session:

DO:

  • Prepare to have fun…  Yes!  Hard to believe, but we’re going to work hard, but laugh a lot!
  • Consider what you want to happen as a result  of our work together
  • Think about how your day unfolds and how your disorganization is impacting life. we’ll use this in determining where to start.
  • Gather supplies: cardboard boxes, markers, sticky-notes, plastic bags for things to take away. 
  • Gather snacks for yourself and water. why? Because 30% of the body’s calories are consumed by the brain and you’re gong to need lots of brain power for this work.
  • COMMIT to a minimum of three hours without distractions. This will get works before they get better and that’s a minimum to make any real progress. It’s also pretty much the maximum most people can tolerate in a session.
  • I will not be judging you, so try not to judge yourself.  Organizing is part aptitude and part skill.  If you don’t have the aptitude, you can learn the skill that will make your life SOOOO much easier.

DON’T:

  1. DO NOT go out and buy storage containers, set’s of plastic drawers, etc!  You’ll end up taking half of them back.
  2. Again! Don’t do it!  After sorting, discarding and re-configuring, you’re ideas about how to manage your belonging will change and you won’t know HOW until the work is done. At the end of the session, recommendations/suggestions re improving your storage will be made, then you can do crazy buying things IFF you need to.  We’ll find way to use your existing storage areas more effectively, so you may not need anything 🙂
  3. DO NOT invite your friend to be part of the session. The focus is on YOU and YOUr needs, and “a helper” will interfere with efficiency and focus and be counter productive.  What’s right for you, may not be right for her/him. If, after we’ve worked together, you’d like to enlist their help, you’ll have some guidelines and know how to set some boundaries around other people’s suggestions.
  4. Don’t expect to get it all done in one session. If you’d like multiple sessions, I’m happy to give you “homework” so you can do a lot of sorting, etc. before the next session and our time can be spent on the problem areas or focusing on the really tricky stuff.