New Romance: How Your House Can Help

by Nancy

Reprinted and updated from Divorce 360, 2008

I’ve been divorced for six months and am not remotely interested in another romantic relationship at this point.  Should I be concerned that the relationship area of my house is missing and if so, how can I correct it?

Your Relationship to Yourself

In the practice of Feng Shui, Relationship includes intimate relationships and partnerships. The most important of those is relationship to yourself.  Regardless of the desire for romance, all relationships stem from the way we feel about ourselves, and whether we honor the contracts we make with ourselves. On the personal level, if you repeatedly encounter people who don’t respect your needs and boundaries, ask yourself if you are honoring your needs.  By always putting personal needs last and accepting what’s left-over, you are broadcasting that you are not worth acknowledging. If others don’t respect your boundaries, have you been clear in acknowledging them?   External relationships act as a mirror or what’s going on internally.  

Correct a Missing Relationship

After a divorce or a prolonged relationship, it often takes a while to get reacquainted with yourself. So …spend some time taking care of yourself physically, spiritually and emotionally.  If your home is missing this Relationship area (the back, right corner of the house), you can strengthen it by attending to the relationship sector in each room of the house. For example, place something that symbolizes relationship in that area. If it’s cluttered, clean it out – move some energy. Additionally, adjustments can be made outside the house in what would-have-been the Relationship area.

Anything symbolic of nurturing can work there. Plant flowers, create a comfort-zone for relaxing, or place statuary that suggests supportive relationships.  Pairs of things suggest not only partnership with another, but also the honoring of the different aspects of our own personalities.  For example, the cranes on the left symbolize commitment, because they mate for life. Adjustments such as these act as a reminder of our intention to take care or ourselves.