by Nancy Wesson
April 2008: Re-claimed, updated from Divorce360.com
I’m recently divorced and remaining in the house I shared with my ex. Not only is some of the furniture gone—making the place feel empty—but everything is a reminder of my past. How can I shake this feeling and make the place feel like mine?
Use Furniture Differently
That sounds familiar! The good news is: you can fix it. The emotional aspect will take some time, but using familiar pieces of furniture in different ways can help even that along. We live with our furniture so long it’s sometimes hard to imagine that a dining table can now become a display piece, a desk or a project table.
Changing hardware on a dresser can make it yours. Get new bed linens, and I strongly recommend a new mattress if you can afford it. Intimate pieces can hold “energy” for a long time, making it harder to move on. Sleep in the MIDDLE of the bed so it doesn’t feel like you’re missing a partner!
Paint!
Paint does wonders! Find some colors that make your heart sing and go for it! Sidestep colors your ex loved and find your own palette! Warm colors for communal areas encourage conversation and activity, and can change the perceived temperature of the room! Cooler colors support privacy, but can also make a room feel colder physically and emotionally. so add some warmth with accessories if you go that direction.
Clear & Bless the Space
Finally—or maybe before you start any of the above projects—do an energetic clearing and a blessing on your house. Best drums, rings bells, clap and chase away the divorce vibes. Finish with a blessing using sandalwood, or frankincense and myrrh incense, walking through each room saying a blessing or prayer of your choice. It could be a simple as “Bless this space for my highest and best good, for my (my family’s) health and well-being.” I predict you will feel a dramatic shift!